Every month, dive into our readers’ letters to explore the behind-the-scenes of working from home, the joys (or not 😃) of coworking life, and everything that shapes our daily routine, near or far!
Hello,
I’m writing because I’m a bit lost at the moment. I’ve been working remotely for a year now, while the rest of my team is in the office almost every day. At first, everything was fine. We had plenty of video calls, I felt included, and I kept up with the pace. But over the past few months, I’ve been feeling increasingly “on the side.”
I’m not talking about open conflict, just a sense of being out of sync. For example, I sometimes learn about decisions that were already made because “it came up casually during a coffee break.” I don’t think anyone is trying to exclude me, but I’m simply not there to hear these improvised conversations. And when I try to bring up certain points or suggest ideas, I feel like I’m arriving too late.
The worst part is that I can feel myself withdrawing. I’m reluctant to ask for clarification because I don’t want to look like the one who isn’t following. I end up compensating by working more, just to prove that I’m present, but I’m not sure it’s a healthy strategy.
So I wanted to ask if you’ve ever heard of this kind of situation, and if you might have advice or ideas to help me feel “part of the team” again, even though I’m not physically there. I love my job, I don’t want to leave, but I’m wondering how to rebalance things without coming across as annoying.
Thanks in advance if you have time to reply.
Have a good day.
Louise
Hello Louise,
Thanks for your message. I’ll try to answer as best as I can, even though you’re pointing out something pretty tricky about remote work: being the only person working from home while the rest of the team is on-site.
Remote work functions well when the whole team commits to making it work. In reality, though, it’s often the person working remotely who ends up having to put things in place… 🤡
I’m not sure what field you work in, but in mine it’s common to have a short meeting (on video) every morning to go over the plan for the day. I don’t know if that’s something your team could implement, but it would at least give you a daily touchpoint.
Another thing I like to do is to greet my team in the work chat, wishing them a good day or a good week. It’s a simple way to show I’m present, and it adds a bit of rhythm to our exchanges beyond strictly professional messages. I live in the mountains, and sometimes I share a photo of the first snow or a little story from the morning. It creates small reference points and things to joke about, even from a distance.
Also: would it be possible for you to go to the office from time to time?
My own experience with remote work is quite different, since almost everyone on my team works from home. But we still make a point of meeting at the company headquarters about once a quarter. It’s not much (we’re all spread across France, so it’s not easy for anyone), but it helps us spend time together and strengthen our bonds. We often take the opportunity to do something a bit out of the ordinary, like an escape game or a baking class.
Maybe a regular visit to the office could help ease your feeling of exclusion. You won’t be there for every coffee break, but other rituals could form. In my previous company, where I worked remotely four days a week, we’d all meet in person once a week and go out for lunch together. It created a real “special moment” in the week.
Another idea: why not suggest a virtual coffee break?
It doesn’t mean everyone will join, but it would at least give you a moment to take a break yourself (which, as you know, can disappear very quickly when working remotely 😅) and it creates an informal space for conversation within the team.
I know that all these ideas require you to make more effort than the rest of the team. But sometimes it’s small initiatives, here and there, that slowly become rituals and help you take your place in the group dynamic. After six months of having a virtual coffee at 10:15 every day, the team might even miss it the day you’re not there. You get the idea.
Still, I think your team’s configuration (one person working from home and everyone else on-site) is one of the most challenging setups socially and professionally. It requires effort from everyone. I hope some of your colleagues will eventually try working from home a bit too. It would probably rebalance interactions and make everyday collaboration smoother.
Take care, and good luck 🙂
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